JamieWeinstein.com

Not to say that Barack Obama and his staff read my blog, BUT someone did suggest Joe Biden as Obama's VP back in --- ready for this ---FEBRUARY!

You can just call me Weinsteindamus. When will I receive a paycheck from the Obama campaign for my advice?

My latest article, John Kasich: The Best VP Choice if McCain Wants to Win, is now available at North Star.

Like with Barack Obama, many people have speculated on who McCain should pick as his Vice-President, including myself. Now, I present to you the worst five possible tickets for the Republican Party this November.

5) McCain/Savage ‘08

Though Michael Savage has the 3rd largest audience on talk radio, he is not the most stable personality. Prone to making controversial statements—such as his recent comments attacking, of all groups, autistic children—Savage may be too much of a loose cannon for McCain to stomach. Really, Michael? Autistic children?

4) McCain/Keyes ‘08

Perennial Presidential contender Alan Keyes recently left the Republican Party after failing to pick up traction in the Republican Presidential primary, but if McCain offered him the spotlight as his Vice-President he would probably accept. Though a great speaker and debater, Keyes has lost every general election contest he has ever entered by outstanding margins. He would actually have to halt his own quixotic Presidential campaign to accept the Republican Vice-Presidential slot as he is currently on the ballot in a few states as the nominee for America’s Independent Party, whatever that is. Nonetheless, it is clear that McCain should reject the possibility of a Vice-President Keyes considering Keyes has recently called the Arizona Senator “evil” and a man who wants to destroy the Republic. Then again, in order for McCain to reject the possibility of Keyes he would have to entertain the thought. Surely he has not.

3) McCain/Craig ‘08

Not much explanation needed here. Of all the possible Senators to choose, Larry Craig is arguably the worst, though I argue there is one Senator that tops even him (see below). The Idaho Senator, world renowned for his ultra-wide wide bathroom stance, would doom the McCain campaign to electoral failure. But even if Mr. Craig’s infamous incident at Minneapolis-St. Paul’s International Airport did not occur, the rigid Idaho Senator would be a poor choice for Team McCain. But the more interesting question, I think, is will Sen. Craig be making a visit to the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis? If so, let me suggest he wait to use the restroom until he is in the comfort of his hotel room.

2) McCain/Bush ‘08

No, not George W. Bush. I am talking about Jeb Bush, the former governor of Florida. In actuality, Jeb Bush is immensely qualified for the job and if his last name was anything other than Bush, he would not only have been a front runner for McCain’s VP slot, but he would have been a real contender for the Republican nomination. Unfortunately, his last name happens to be Bush and right now, fairly or unfairly, his surname is a disqualifier.

1) McCain/Stevens ‘08

The 84-year old Stevens has been in the United States Senate since 1968. Not only would Stevens exacerbate the age issue surrounding John McCain, but more significantly Stevens was recently indicted for corruption issues. While different campaigns have different standards for what they seek in a Vice-Presidential candidate, it is unlikely that any Presidential campaign in American history has listed “indicted for corruption issues” as an alluring quality in a VP prospect. Stevens is really the anti-McCain. McCain fights against pork while Stevens fight for it. Opposites in this case do not attract. In the words of former President George H.W. Bush, picking Stevens just wouldn’t be prudent.

Many people have speculated on who Obama should pick as his Vice-President. Instead, I present to you the worst five possible tickets for the Democratic Party this November.

5) Obama/Gravel '08

Mike Gravel was a fellow contender for the Democratic nomination. The fiery former Senator from Alaska, however, may be a bit too radical for Obama’s ticket. Having spent a day traveling around New Hampshire with Gravel during the primary season, I got the impression that Gravel didn’t like America too much. At one point he told a group of high-school students to “bow your heads down we are so bad.” The loose lipped Gravel, who in public often gives the impression that he is perpetually angry, is probably not the guy Obama wants as his number 2.

4) Obama/Jackson '08

Jackson has electoral experience having been the contender for the Democratic Presidential nomination in 1984 and 1988. He is also a poetic speaker in a mother goose sort of way. Still, there are several reasons why Obama should consider Jackson a persona non grata on his ticket. For one, he recently said he would like to cut Obama’s “nuts” off. Even if Obama survived such a violent attack, the incident would probably cast doubt on the fitness of an Obama-Jackson ticket. Secondly, while the cat has long been out of the bag with regards to Jackson’s love child, there very well may be other skeletons in the closet that would make Jackson a dangerous choice for VP. But in all honesty, do we really have to go any further than reason number 1?

3) Obama/Edwards '08

Not too long ago, many speculated that the former North Carolina Senator was seriously being considered for another run as Vice-President. Popular with the liberal base of the Democratic Party, John Edwards is a fine communicator and despite his inability to deliver his home state to John Kerry in 2004, some still believed he could help make some inroads for Obama in the South. But something happened on the way to the convention. Just last week, Edwards confirmed a National Enquirer report that he had cheated on his cancer stricken wife. Despite his denials, some still believe that he may be the father of his mistress’s child. Usually such controversy is a non-starter with regards to VP talk.

2) Obama/Byrd '08

One of Obama’s greatest weaknesses is his lack of experience, so many VP prognosticators have predicted that Obama will pick someone to compensate for this perceived weakness. Having served in the Senate nearly half a century—longer than Obama has been alive—Bob Byrd may have too much experience. The aged Senator from West Virginia makes John McCain look like a whippersnapper. There is also a question of the type of experience that Byrd would bring to the ticket. As a former Grand Kleagle of the KKK, Byrd may not be the most appealing VP pick, though such a “unity ticket” would show just how far America has come. Even Martin Luther King, Jr. probably couldn’t have dreamed of a day when a black candidate and a former KKK Grand Kleagle would run on the same ticket.

1) Obama/Wright '08

As bad as Jesse Jackson and John Edwards would be as VP picks, they would be considerably better choices than Obama’s former Pastor Jeremiah Wright. Though a fiery speaker, Wright’s message is a little off key. While Obama tries to come across as a uniter, Wright accuses the government (read white people) of inventing AIDS. While many people question how Obama could have stomached being a member of Wright’s church for 20 years, adding him to the ticket would only hammer home this unseemly connection. And God bless whoever would be tasked with keeping the pastor on message.

My latest article, "A Conservative Comedian's Journey", is now available at North Star.